My First Guerrilla Speech

It was the early 1980s and I was in Berkley California to see The Grateful Dead. I was dressed appropriately - head to foot tye-dye. I wasn't quite the typical deadhead as instead of hanging out waiting for the show while drinking beer or perhaps indulging in mild hallucinogens, I was playing an energetic game of frisbee and drinking martinis, scorching dry, straight up, with extra olives.

When I felt a need to relieve myself, instead of finding a nice tree to hide myself behind like a nice hippee would, I ducked into a school building. After the restroom, I noticed a noisy classroom. It was obvious from the buzz; the professor was late.

I walked in on autopilot and started to address the class. The professor was unavoidably delayed and I would be taking over until he arrived. Now where had they left off last time?

I was a living non-sequitur. I didn't look like I belonged in front of the class, but I had the appropriate self confidence and demeanor. The class was mesmerized. I was energized. I knew no one would question my authority.

After a few minutes, I heard footsteps in the hall. I excused myself and stode out the door with confidence as an unaware professor hurried in the other.

Who was that tye-dyed man?